Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland
by Dr.Scarecrow
Summary: Discont. The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing.
1. Wet, Mangled Corpses

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 1:**

Wet, Mangled Corpses

* * *

Waluigi heard it first: a soft _pat pat pat_ sound.

"Oi, Wario, you hear that?"

Wario, Waluigi's older brother and treasure-hunter extraordinaire, grumbled something along the lines of _Who the hell cares?_ and went back to walking through the dark, dense forest. Waluigi, however, stopped and looked around; it hadn't rained for a while, so why the dripping noise?

_Thump, slap_. Fleshy and unpleasant to Waluigi's elfin-like ears. He turned toward where he thought he heard the thump, pushing branches away from his thin body, and proceeded deeper into the Forest of Illusion.

"Hey, Waluigi, what gives?" No one answered, so Wario retraced Waluigi's steps and found Waluigi--and something else.

"Holy Star Crystals.." he breathed, and took an involuntary step backward from the body and the blood drenching the ground around it. Waluigi was kneeling near the soaking-wet body of the girl--for it was definitely a girl--who was either dead, or something like it. Wario made as if to pull Waluigi away.

"Ow!" he cried instead, rubbing his head where he had hit it. What _had_ he hit it on? He looked up--Waluigi was still near the girl--and received a drop of water right smack on the tip of his large nose as a reward. The treasure-hunter swiped at it and continued scrutinizing the large thing above him.

Wario recognized what it was instantly: a warp pipe. But whereas most warp pipes were a dark green or a regular green, this one was a muddy brown, almost perfectly matching the water dripping from it. Inside the pipe he could hear the echoing of more water, and what sounded like the rushing of a large river. The pipe issued from a large, weather-worn boulder under the expanse of a large oak. Wario shivered; he hoped no Wigglers were hiding in that tree. When they got mad, they got _mad_, and all their friends got mad as hell, too.

"Wario. _Wario!_ She's still alive!" Waluigi hefted up the girl as best as he could, mindful of not pushing her light blue dress up her legs and exposing her, and stumbled toward his older brother. Wario frowned, but did not object to the rescue. So what if they were bad guys? Doesn't mean they couldn't help someone who was obviously gonna die without their help.

"Where do we go, Wario?"

Wario paused for a minute, stroking his jagged moustache in thought. Finally, he was forced to decide on one of the many places where their faces were not welcome.

"We go, to the Mushroom Kingdom Castle."

"Are you sure, Big Bro? You know what may happen if we do." But still, Waluigi started walking in the direction of the Princess' Castle. Wario followed.

"I'm quite aware of the consequences, Wally--"

"Don't call me that!"

"--and it seems to me that's the only place that she can get good enough care not to.. oh I dunno.. _die_."

"Point taken," Waluigi muttered, letting his long legs take him ever closer to the edge of the Forest of Illusion.

It was a fairly easy walk, though a bit long. Waluigi had to stop and shift the girl around a few times. Wario did not complain about the breaks, which his little brother was grateful for, and instead gave Waluigi advice on how to best carry large, burdening objects.

"Of course you would know, Bro, about lifting heavy things, what with your fancy-shmancy way of looting treasure with a _big brown sack_," mumbled Waluigi tiredly after the fourth time Wario pointed out that he was slouching too far forward. Wario reddened.

"Well, yeah, but that's part of the tradition! Besides, if I went around stealing other people's coins, would I throw it in anything that might give it away that it was _me?_"

"Bro, you wear a bright yellow jumpsuit with a purple shirt and green, Look-At-Me-I'm-One-Of-Santa's-Helpers! shoes. You don't need anything _else_ to give away that it's you." Up ahead, Waluigi could see the mosaic-paned window that depicted the Princess upon the tallest tower of the castle, and jumped for joy inwardly.

Wario grunted a very rude response which this author does not care to repeat, and ceased chatting.

* * *

The younger of the Wario Brothers balked at the edge of the bridge, not wanting to get into too much trouble--at least, not without causing some mayhem. Wario strode up to the middle of the bridge before realizing that his brother was not with him. He sighed dramatically and continued walking, calling out behind his shoulder, "Oh, come on Wally, do you want her to die or what?"

Waluigi jerked in realization, and quickly caught up to Wario. "I said don't call me that!" he muttered under his breath.

"You say somethin', Bro?"

"Uh. No."

"Mm."

A large gold knocker hung on the door, emblazoned with a mushroom head below a crystal-studded star. Wario's fingers itched with want, but Waluigi guessed what he was thinking and slapped his brother's hand.

"_No_. You are _not_ stealing when we need their help."

Wario rolled his eyes--"Yes, _mom_."--and lifted the knocker up to let it fall. The _boom!_ caught both Wario and Waluigi by surprise, making them jump back a few feet, but no one came immediately. A few seconds later, Waluigi slumped against the side of the entrance way, complaining, "Don't they answer the fu--"

"Evening, sirs," came a squeaky voice from below. Wario and Waluigi glanced downward to see a brown Toad servant dressed up nicely, bowing low in front of a hole in one of the doors.

"Er.. evening?" replied Wario awkwardly.

"And what would sirs care to ask for at this.. hour?" the Toad servant pointedly asked, bringing the author to realize that the time had not been stated.

"Oh crap, it's, like, eleven, isn't it?" Waluigi smacked his own forehead.

The Toad frowned. These two looked mighty familiar.. His eyes widened as he remembered them, but he did not dismiss them. His role as doorman was bound to him, and he was supposed to follow his role as such.

"We need to talk to Princess Peach," Wario stated grandly, making himself seem important. The Toad nodded.

"The Princess is up reading--I shall go fetch her. Before that, though, shall I take your hats, gloves, and wet, mangled corpses?"

Waluigi started. "Err.. That's what we need to talk to the Princess about--this girl needs medical attention, ASAP."

"Oh. Oh! OH! Yes yes, come in, do come in."

"Kinda redundant, ain't he?" Wario whispered to Waluigi as the Toad disappeared and the doors swung open to reveal the entrance hall. Waluigi nodded his agreement and hoisted the girl into a better position in his arms.


	2. B Grade Conversation

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 2:**

B-Grade Conversation

* * *

The girl was resting in a hospital bed, as peacefully as one can when almost dead, with clean new clothes and 'prepped' wounds. Waluigi, Wario, and Peach sat in chairs alongside her.

Princess Peach, naturally, was dressed her in usual royal outfit, but her hair was up in a cute ponytail that both brothers thought looked good. She folded her hands in her lap neatly, and questioned softly, "Where did you find her?"

"Forest of Illusion, Princess." That was Wario, ever the social one. "Waluigi found her, actually, and this was the only place we could think of that had medicine well enough to help her out."

Peach only bobbed her head thoughtfully, then signaled for a Toad medic. The intense-looking, light blue Toadette she summoned curtseyed with her white medic's coat respectfully before asking, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"What did you conclude, May?"

Waluigi leaned forward eagerly to hear the Toadette medic as she scooted over to the bed and began pointing out locations of wounds. "She was slashed with what we assume was a small dagger here,"--a sweep from the right of her collar bone down to her left hip--"and here,"--she indicated from just under her non-existant right breast to her navel--"and stabbed under the rib cage"--she made a circular motion about three inches up and to the right of her belly button--"which caught her in the liver. We think the thrust was made at an upward angle, so it went above and behind the tenth and ninth ribs. We're quite sure that the blade did very little damage to the liver itself, and more to the tissue around it, so there will be no surgery on the liver.

"In regards to the slash wounds, they're deep and need stitching up, which we will start on as soon as this debriefing is done. We 'prepped' the wounds with an iodine solution and padded them, taping them over with sterile medical tape, and cleaned the stab wound as best as we could, which will also be stitched. The collar bone was splintered slightly, presumably from the force of the blow, and will be set with a plate and some screws. Oh, this reminds me.."

May slipped off a pair of glasses from her face and tucked them into her top coat pocket before fingering two pills from the same pocket. She bent over and gently stuck her fingers into the girl's mouth, taking a glass of water from the end table with her other hand and allowing a few dribbles to trickle down her throat. The medic massaged the girl's throat tenderly until she was sure the pills had been swallowed. That done, May put her glasses back on and turned to the Princess.

"Anti-inflammatory precautions, Your Majesty. So there's less chance of there being inflammation around the collar bone. .. Oh, and sometimes my glasses slip off when I bend over," she said casually, in response to the raised eyebrows.

Peach smiled warmly at the Toadette. "Thank you, May, you are a wonderful doctor."

May blushed slightly and curtseyed again. "Your Majesty is too kind."

"No, really, you are," Peach insisted before standing up. "But now you must attend to the stitching?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Wario, Waluigi? Will you accompany me to the parlor? Goodnight, May."

"Goodnight, Your Majesty."

Wario and Waluigi nodded and followed the Princess out of the medical centre and into the entrance hall. Over aways to the right was the main entrance, and to their left and front were many more doors branching off to other parts of the castle. All three were silent as they made their way down the entrance hall, except for the _click click_ of Peach's heels and the _clop clop_ of the brothers' shoes. The entrance hall was made of flecked white marble, and a wide, soft red carpet rolled from the main entrance to the large and grand flight of stairs, which was carpeted with the same material. The ceiling was high and vaulted, with columns running down from the second- and third-story landings and balconies, and skylights reflected the flames of softly-burning candles on the third story. As they neared the middle of the hall, Waluigi glanced up and saw a deep, tower-like cavity in the ceiling, which was marked in the inside with a glimmering mosaic of a star surrounded by the night sky. _'Oh. Huh. I guess that's the main tower then. Wonder how you get to it..?'_

Princess Peach led Wario and Waluigi, not up the staircase--which branched off halfway up to the first level to create the second-story balconies--but behind it, underneath the beginning of the left balcony, to an indiscrete, large, friendly-looking brown door with a small gold knocker. Peach didn't bother to knock but just pushed it open and escorted the young men into a warmly-lit chamber with cushy armchairs, end tables, and a tray of food (which looked like it had been messed with a few minutes ago).

The Princess gestured to a couple of armchairs near a large fireplace that had a clock on the mantel. Not that it was terribly cold; the fire was just for comfort. "Please, sit."

The two sat.

"This is where I was reading before you visited. Tea? No? A buttered scone with jelly?"

"Mm, yes," Waluigi started to say, but Wario jabbed him with his elbow and he said instead, "Uh, no, thank you."

Peach shrugged and sat down opposite them, a tiny tea cup held in one dainty hand and a saucer in the other.

"Well, I guess I should right down to it." And here her Princess-y charm was lost. "What were you guys doing in the Forest of Illusion at eleven in the bloody night?"

"Err, going home?" Wario scratched the hair above his ear. _What in the hell?.._

"_Why_ in the name of Eldstar were you going home that late?"

"Wario wanted to go treasure-hunting, Peach," Waluigi butted in. "But we didn't find anything, so we called it quits around ten-forty. And eleven's not all that late for us. But _why_ are you interrogating us like this?"

Peach muttered something angrily and gazed at the fireplace. When she looked back at Wario and Waluigi, she didn't seem as angry, but still cross. "There have been reports of peaceful Goombas and Koopas going missing lately. Haven't you heard?"

The two shook their heads.

"Well, they've been going missing near the Forest of Illusion. That's where you guys live, right?"

They nodded.

"From what we know, they're just walking along near the edge or even outside of the Forest, and _poof!_ they're gone."

"And you questioned us like that because..?" Wario inquired slowly.

Peach had the decency to look ashamed. "Because you guys.. are you. So, we had suspicions it was you two doing it."

Waluigi raised one thin eyebrow. "And why, in the name of all that is holy, would we want to capture Goombas and Koopas?"

Peach slammed her teacup and saucer onto the tray. Waluigi flinched.

"Oh, I don't _know!_ But these are civilians, _my_ civilians, and I am responsible for overseeing _every_ _single_ _one's_ safety! Even if that means suspecting B-grade villains!"

"B-grade?" Wario growled. Peach ignored him.

"And what's more is, Bowser isn't doing it!"

"Wha? How do you know?" cried Waluigi.

"Because," she muttered bitterly. "Peaceful civilians aren't the only ones going missing. Bowser's reported that he's lost numerous troops, from Hammerhead Bros to Spinys to Lukitus, all around the edge of the Forest of Illusion."

Waluigi rested his head in his palm. "Well what the hell man."

"Oh _shoot!_" cursed Peach, scaring the guys. She ran up to the fireplace, grabbed a small, old-fashioned phone stationed there, and quickly rung up numbers.

"Yes, may I speak to May, please?"

A tinny _Yes, Your Majesty_, was heard by Wario and Waluigi.

"Thank you."

A moment's silence.

_You need me, Your Majesty?_

"May? Yes, I need you to check for identification on that girl's person if you haven't already."

_I have, Your Majesty. Would you care to see it?_

"Yes, please, May."

_Alright, Your Majesty, I'll send someone with the purse right now._

"Thank you very much May."

_It's no problem, Your Majesty. Goodnight._

"Goodnight, May."

Peach hung up and sat back down in her light pink armchair. "Jeez, I almost forgot about her identification.. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

Wario stood up and grabbed a scone. "Oi, don't beat yourself up. It happens, yeah?" He bit into the scone and made a contented noise.

"She looks like Alice," mused Waluigi, tapping his pinky on the edge of his nose.

"What?" came from Wario and Peach.

"Huh? Oh. The girl--she looks like Alice, from _Alice in Wonderland_. The movie, though. Blue dress, white apron thing? .. Although, Alice's wasn't stained with blood."

Peach made a politely disgusted face and was about to comment, but jumped up when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

The spry young Toad bowed and grinned at his Princess. "Th' purse like yuh ask'd, Y'Maj'sty."

"Thank you Piper. Here, want a scone?"

Piper grinned again and bowed his light green head. "No, thank yuh, Y'Maj'sty, I ate already."

"If you say so, Piper. Goodnight."

"G'night, Y'Maj'sty."

Waluigi took his head off his hand, craning his neck to see what Peach was dredging up from the purse as she sat down.

"Not much in here. A photo, a coin, a paperclip, and a silver locket. Barren, practically."

"Can I see the photo?"

"_May_ I see the photo," Peach corrected automatically, and handed it to Waluigi. Wario, still nibbling on the scone, leaned over to see.

For some reason it was slightly warped and wrinkled, but the details were easy enough to make out: It was of a girl not much younger than them. As far as Waluigi could tell, she _was_ Alice in Wonderland; her hair was held back by a black band, and her hair was a buttery yellow. She had bright blue eyes, smiling happily while she gave a peace-sign to the camera. In the background was a thin forest with white flowers everywhere, and a large river, barely discernable between the trees, in the distance.

"Hey hey!" exclaimed Wario. "I bet that's the same river that I heard in the warp pipe!"

"Warp pipe?" Peach questioned.

"Yeah, what warp pipe?"

"The one you failed to notice when you found her on the ground. The ground was soaked around her, and she _was_ lying in front of the opening of the pipe. I looked in it, but it was too dark to see anything. _Hear_ anything, though, that's a different story. I heard water drops and, like it was a ways away, a river."

Peach considered it. "Hmm. Could be where she was.. well.. dropped into. It certainly does seem that way, crude though it does sound."

Waluigi flipped the photo over while Peach and Wario discussed the river. On the back was stenciled an indecipherable line, but nothing else. The younger Wario Brother labored to read what it said. '_Alloo.. Alboo.. Allco.. Alice? uostrno.. costiurno.. ucstumo.. Alright I give up on that one. Hm. Ago.. Seventy-flower-sign.. No. Wait. .. _Twenty_-_one_, maybe? Seems more likely. Though it could be _eleven_ for all I know_,' he thought to himself.

"She's twenty-one."

"What?"

"That's what it says. Well.. I think."

"Gimme that!" Wario snatched it from his hands and read what Waluigi had just read.

"Alice costume, age twenty-one."

"_What?!_ How could you read that?" Waluigi whined.

"When you're a treasure-hunter, you have to learn how to read a _lot_ of things, Bro."

"Problem, you guys."

"Yeah?" asked Wario, handing the picture back to Peach.

She took it and said, "The girl in the hospital bed isn't a day over five--she can't be the girl in the picture."

Waluigi frowned. "She has to be, I'm sure of it. Take a lookit her hair--really long, perfectly yellow."

Peach shook her head. "Maybe her sister or something."

"I still think it's her.

Princess Peach rose gracefully from her seat, the purse clasped inbetween her hands. "Well, you guys, it's too late for you to go back--" A quick glance at the clock on the mantel told Waluigi it was 11:43. "--so would you mind terribly if you stayed here?"

"Mind?" snorted Wario. "We wouldn't _mind_ so much as _love to_."

"Well, yes, alright." Peach smiled thinly. "Separate rooms?"

Waluigi had to work hard to keep from rolling his eyes. "Yes, please."


	3. Contamination in the Blood

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 3:**

Contamination in the Blood

* * *

They were shown to their rooms respectfully ("Respect? We never get respect!" Wario exclaimed, delighted at the niceness of the old green Toad that lead him to his room), and without further interrogation.

Waluigi's room was located up the main staircase ("We call it the Starcase," Peach had explained, pointing out complex etches of stars on the banisters), to the right, on the balcony facing the medical room. His brother's was further down, near the end of the balcony. They had said goodnight to each other--nothing more needed to be said--and parted ways at Waluigi's room, with Wario being guided by the nice green Toad.

The lanky younger brother stretched his arms up over his head, getting the kinks out of his body that had been placed there when he was lugging the girl around.

"Oi oi oi, gotta love this," he sighed tiredly as he stretched some more. He winced when there was a _pop!_ but continued his exercises in front of the dim fireplace on a very plush rug. As he was stretching out his calves, Waluigi figured he wasn't all that sleepy. Just tired. Yes, there _was_ a difference, thank you very much.

"Ohh. Much better."

Waluigi removed his hat and scratched his shaggy, light brown hair languidly. "Oh, wait." He slipped his gloves from his hands, and _then_ scratched his hair.

"There we go. ..Well, this is boring." There wasn't much in the way of entertainment in his room; a bed, a fireplace (with a clock on the mantel like in the parlor), a small phone (which he assumed was for calling other rooms in the castle), and a large wardrobe next to an ornate, full-length mirror.

"Jolly good time," he said sarcastically, and opened the wooden door a notch. Outside of it lay the carpeted balcony, the white marble railing, large marble columns running down near the railing to the hall floor, then, below, the hall itself, and then the next wall, which supported another balcony. He could just discern, past the shadows underneath the balcony, the clean white door leading to the medical room. His eyes lingered there for a moment before he straightened up and strode out onto the walkway. Glancing around and seeing no one in sight, Waluigi headed right, toward the Starcase. The _clop_s of his shoes were muffled by the carpeting as he walked down the stairs, and, with all the lights and fires dimmed, he looked like a tall, thin shadow, gliding down the Starcase. He let his left hand trail along the banister, feeling the crystals inlaid in eye-catching patterns, and didn't begrudge Wario of his obsession with treasure. Wario just.. liked it a bit more than most, is all. Just like Waluigi could see the beauty in what others called "nasty, man-eating monsters" (piranha plants), Wario could see the value of every rock, wood, and metal that was deemed even only semi-precious. _'Right now_,' he thought, almost to the bottom of the steps, '_I can understand why Wario loots and pillages like he does. For these shiny little rocks. They must mean something to him, like my plants mean something to me._ It made the thought of Wario stealing from innocent people a little easier to bear; Waluigi wasn't one for _robbing_ people, just scaring them shitless with his Bob-Ombs.

When he reached his destination, Waluigi wasn't sure whether to knock or go right on in. So, he compromised; he opened the door a tad and peered through. Inside were gleaming marble walls, a large room filled with empty white beds, and a light-blue Toadette near one of the first few beds. He rapped on the door to get May's attention.

"Yes? May I help you?" she asked politely, turning from the patient she had been checking on.

"Uhmm.. I was wondering.. if maybe you had any idea why the picture in her purse was older than her?"

"You mean why the Alice look-alike looks younger now than she does in the picture."

"Uh. Yeah. Whatever."

"I was just diagnosing that, actually. But it's in the strictest of confidence. I'm sorry young man, I just can't go around giving away my patient's conditions."

Waluigi edged the door open a little more and tried hard not to shout--despite the room being almost empty, here and there were patients in beds, sleeping; he couldn't find the girl; they must have moved her when he, Wario, and Peach left earlier. "But _I_ saved her, and I just want to know."

May found his arrogance almost suffocating. She turned her back on him and replied coldly, "No, I'm sorry, I can't do that. Now, go on, this is a restricted area after hours."

Waluigi huffed, "Then what _are_ the hours?"

"Seven-thirty a.m. to ten-thirty p.m. Please, leave."

"Ergh!" With that, Waluigi turned on his heel and left for his room.

* * *

"What? Did you think you were actually gonna _get_ somewhere? _Please_, Li'l Bro."

Waluigi stood outside Wario's doorway, having just complained to him about May and the stupid doctor-patient confidentiality policies. Wario was on the other side of the doorway, wearing nothing but black pajama bottoms and a black nightcap, making it worse for Waluigi by telling him it was _obvious_ they wouldn't have given _him_ any information.

"It's _obvious_ they're not gonna give _you_ any information. Princess _Peach_, on the other hand.." he let himself trail off, then closed the door and offered a muffled "G'night, Wally."

"Don't call me that, damnit!" was Waluigi's response before he stomped off to his room.

Inside, Wally--excuse the author, Waluigi--proceed to strip off his shoes, gloves, hat, and overalls, leaving him in just his purple t-shirt and black boxers. The clock told him it was just past midnight. Strange as it was to be in Princess Peach's castle--with no Mario and Luigi chasing after him, at least--Waluigi had to admit he was a bit drowsy, and laid himself in under the covers of the four-poster. He stared up at the ceiling, thought, _'God, what a long day_ this_ has been,'_ and fell slowly asleep.

* * *

It was the knocking on the door that woke him up.

"Sir? I brought you clean clothes."

Waluigi grumbled something about shoving the clothes up a dark and unpleasant place, but got out of bed anyway to receive them. When he opened the door, the cute Toadlet standing there immediately blushed and looked down at her feet, offering up Waluigi's overalls, hat, and gloves. Waluigi idly wondered when the hell they had been in his room, but decided to ignore it and just take the clothes from the little Toadette.

"Er. Thank you, I guess."

The Toadlet shook her head in a "it's okay!" fashion, the single pink braid she had swishing with each shake of the head. Then she took off, running toward the Starcase, her feet pattering on the carpet. Waluigi scratched his head, then shrugged. Whatever the hell they give those kids of theirs that made them so damn energetic, it wasn't his problem.

Waluigi sat down on the edge of the bed to put on his overalls, and discovered why the Toadlet had blushed--he was still wearing only his shirt and boxers. '_Smart, _real_ smart_,' he chided himself. Probably gave the child nightmares to last the rest of her life--not that that was a bad thing, in Waluigi's opinion. But did it have to happen in the _castle_, where _Peach_ lived, and where he was _trying_ hard as hell _not_ to be antagonistic? He thought it did; one of life's jokes just for him.

_'What time is it?'_ The only window in the room was heavily draped, and besides, Waluigi was not on good terms with the sun in the morning. Soon, he was dressed, and rubbed his eyes. He had slept like a frickin' _log_ last night. He wondered what Wario was up to, and almost went out the door, but remembered at the last second to check the clock.

8:37

it read. Well, actually it was an old-fashioned clock, the kind with hands and numerals, so it really read somewhere around

VIII:VII.

Waluigi looked around on the balcony in the hall. _It looks a lot different in the day!_

Light flooded the entire room; no actual lights were on, but the huge skylights in the ceiling allowed the sun to brighten to the room naturally. Beams of light poured down into every corner, every niche, of the hall, which lit up the marble and made it shine dully and prettily. Waluigi glanced down experimentally, and was met with a reflection of himself in the marble floor of the main hall. He grimaced: he had forgotten to brush his hair. Instead of running inside his room to fix it, like many normal people would do, he just combed it down with his fingers and readjusted his hat.

"_Mucho mejor_," he cackled, just for the hell of it. Not enough cackling, he reasoned.

"_Was ist_ 'mucho mejor'?" a voiced called out to him from below jeeringly.

Waluigi rolled his eyes; while he himself was more of a Hispanic type of person, Wario felt himself drawn to the butch language of German, which, Waluigi thought, was pretty stupid; they were _Italian_. German was, like, the _opposite_ of Italian.

"Nothing, Big Bro," he replied, spotting Wario downstairs, emerging from one of the doors on the other side of the hall, putting his gloves on.

"Whatever, now get your ass in gear and get down here. Hey, I rhymed." And without missing a beat, Wario added, "Wally."

"I hate you!"

"Love you too, Li'l Bro. Now come on, we're going to go see the girl again."

"Whyyy?" Waluigi whined, heading for the stairs.

"Because, Whiney-Butt, Peach invited us to hear something that that Marge person found out."

"May."

"May what?"

"What?"

"What about May? Something going on in May?"

"Eh wha?"

"May! You said something about May! Holy _Jebus_, are you _deaf?_"

"Wha--that's the medic Toadette!"

"She's deaf?!"

"No that's her name!"

"Deaf!?"

"No, MAY!"

And that interesting conversation of misunderstanding is what Peach, May, Mario, and Luigi heard through the infirmary door as Wario and Waluigi got closer to it.

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Wario said, opening the infirmary door and completely ignoring the occupants of the room. "The Toadette medic that was here yesterday is named May and is _not_ deaf."

"_Yes_, _thank you_, Lard-Ass, for finally understanding." Waluigi was pinching the bridge of his nose in an exasperated way.

"Hey!" Peach exclaimed. "Please refrain from cursing while in my home."

Wario shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets, standing near Mario, who just blinked. Waluigi scratched his ear and muttered something under his breath. Peach chose to overlook that. Mario and Luigi stood next to her, looking completely the same; red, blue, green, blue, Mario short and plump, Luigi taller and thinner. Mario had his hands behind his head, looking relaxed. Luigi had a small book in his hand, the other in his pocket.

"Now that we're all here, May is going to tell us what she found. May?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. You see, I told you that we cleaned the wounds with iodine solution, I wasn't exactly.. honest. Uhm.." The intense Toadette readjusted her glasses embarrassedly. "The blood was an irregular color. When normal human blood gets oxidized--that is to say, it meets with oxygen--it turns from blue to red. We all know that: basic kindergarten stuff."

Waluigi didn't know that! However, he wasn't about to broadcast his ignorance and just nodded along with everyone else.

"And the girl's blood _looked_ normal, since it was diluted by water, and even on this fellow's clothes and gloves it looked like normal blood," she stated, nodding toward Waluigi, who had, up until that moment, never noticed that he had had blood on his clothes from picking up the girl. _What a way to notice_, he thought drily as the others turned from him back to May.

"But when we were going to work on her wounds, the color went from red to a pinkish red. Sorry, that's the best that I can explain it. Well. Actually. No it's not."

May held up a small, stoppered vial with a liquid inside of it, which she got from one of her many coat pockets. No, wait--_three_ liquids. No.. Waluigi couldn't decide _what_ was in it.

"This is a sample of the girl's blood, which we extracted _before_ we cleaned the wounds with the solution. There are three layers in her blood, whereas most people only have two." She pointed to the bottom-most layer, which was a thick, syrupy pink, getting lighter--almost-transparent white was the lightest shade--the lower in the vial it was. "Blood is thinner than whatever this substance is that mixed with her blood."

"What's the stuff on the top?" Mario asked. He was referring to the light yellow, bubbly-looking.. _stuff_, floating above the red blood.

"That's just cholesterol. Everyone has that. Except hers is too thin to be healthy, really. She needs to eat more," Luigi chimed in. May looked proud of him.

"Precisely, Luigi."

"Oh." Mario nodded in understanding.

"Show off," muttered Luigi's counterpart, crossing his arms.

"When we started looking for the source of how the unknown substance came in, we found an injection hole in the side of her neck--someone stuck a needle in her jugular and injected this.. serum, for lack of a better word."

Luigi asked, "Have you figured out what the serum does?"

"We couldn't sew up the stitches without using some liquid that might interfere with the serum and create unknown and unwanted symptoms. To better understand what might happen, we extracted some of her blood and tested it with various solutions and chemicals--there were no side effects, as far as we could see, so we went ahead with the iodine and prepping.

"Later that night, I separate the serum from the blood as well as I could, and injected it into a piranha plant test subject, wh--"

"Hey! That's cruelty right there!" Waluigi shouted, unnerved by how the Toadette could be treating beautiful piranha plants.

Mario and Luigi raised their eyebrows; Princess Peach cleared her throat, glaring at him; Wario snickered. May gazed at him disapprovingly.

"I assure you, sir, that all of our test subjects are treated kindly, gently, and carefully. As the serum did not seem to have any adverse effects on the girl, not even internally, we did not hesitate to use it on a tester. I would not have tested it at all if I was worried that it would harm anything."

"Oh, alright," he grumbled.

"This.." May put the vial back into one of her pockets and withdrew a small, shiny piece of paper, scrawled on. Everyone recognized it as the matte back of a photo with writing on it. "..was what Test Subject Number Five-Oh-Kay, nicknamed "Khan," looked like before I injected him."

She flipped the photo over, and the others saw a healthy, vibrant, full-grown piranha plant rearing up in its pot, in an indoor garden somewhere. Out of one of the many large windows, it could be seen that the photo had been taken during the night.

"I took this photo last night before I injected him with what we now call Serum Delta."

"Delta?" asked Wario

May shrugged. "One of our interns suggested it. He seems to be a fan of the Greek alphabet. But, uh.." she shook her head dramatically and pulled out another photo, handing the first to Mario, who passed it on to Luigi with barely a glance. Luigi scrutinized it longer than Mario did, turning it this way and that. On the back, it said in neat handwriting,

May L. Stefans, P.h.D., Sunday, April 14th, Year of the Bob-Omb, 12:03AM

Test Subject: No.5-O-K  
Testing: Unknown substance found in unknown human female child's bloodstream.

Description: Thick clear liquid, denser than blood.  
_Before_

"When I injected Serum Delta into Khan, nothing happened at first. And, I have to tell you, he is a very bright piranha plant, remembering what time he's supposed to be fed, how to differentiate between me and a stranger.. Also, he's a full-grown alpha male, one of our breeding plants.

"A few minutes later, Khan began to snap at me, like he had never seen me before. He grew vicious, which was what he had been like as an infantile plant. The red on his head began to fade to a lighter red, then to a dark pink, then to a lighter pink--"

"But that's what piranha plants look like when they're young. What, did the serum make him grow younger?" protested Waluigi.

The Toadette eyed Waluigi with a bit of new respect. He knew a lot about piranha plants, she guessed. "Yes, you're correct, Waluigi, in both regards."

".. Wh.."

"Hey, look, Waluigi knew something!" Luigi laughed, elbowing his brother, who grinned in agreement.

"No way!" Wario refused to believe what the serum could do. "I ain't buyin' that. There's no way anything can make you turn younger, unless it's the Fountain of Youth, or one of the Magikoopa's spells."

May frowned severely, and handed the second photo to him. He took it, stared at it for several minutes, turning it much like Luigi had with the one of full-grown Khan. It showed a young piranha plant seedling, pink with youth and in the same spot Khan had been in.

Finally, Wario gave up trying to prove it was a fraud, gave it back to May, and said, "Well, fine. It's real."

The others in the room absorbed this information. A liquid that could turn you younger? Mario put his hands down from his head, and stuck them in his pockets, wondering about all the enemies he could just turn into children so they would never do evil again.. Bowser included.

Luigi thought about the advances in science they could make, among other science-y and geeky stuff.

The Princess imagined a life in which she could be young forever, eternally cute, carefree, and without responsibility.

Wario didn't like it, so he didn't imagine anything besides the fact that it would be easier to squeeze into small places. .. But it would still be harder to hunt, loot, steal, and just generally pillage.

The purple-and-black-clad Wario Bro. didn't have feelings one way or another about it. So what? It didn't affect him, and it probably never would.

May allowed them time to do all this, then told the others, "He didn't just grow younger; I said that he was bright, and would remember me and when it was time to feed. Soon after he started to change, he growled at me and began to regress into how he acted as a child. It's like, when his age was reversed, his memory went along with it.

"I stayed up with him, trying to help him recall his memories--if they _could_ be recalled. I managed some success when one of my interns, Stewart, came up to me with a cup of tea, tripped, and splashed it all over my coat. Accidentally, of course. But that had happened once before, albeit not right in_ front_ of Khan, just where he could see. Poor Stewart, so clumsy..

"What happened was, Khan saw all this, and it must have triggered the previous memory of it. He could remember; I could tell, even with a wet doctor's coat. But the strange thing was, the curling leaves that signify--.."

"Childhood," Waluigi prompted.

"Yes, childhood, started to unfurl, he jumped a few inches in height, and the light pink on his head darkened a shade. This led me to believe, wet with tea and all, that if you can help the person injected with the serum to remember past memories, they also grow in age. I experimented with this, and I got him to be in his older adolescence, and less volatile. Do you remember Khan, Your Majesty?"

Peach frowned politely. "I can't say that I do, May."

"Well, he's right through this door here," May said, waving a small hand in the direction of a wooden green door inbetween two beds. "Would you care to see him yourselves?"

Waluigi smiled eagerly. "Ooh, can we?"

May chuckled. "It's up to Her Majesty, not me."

"Well.." Peach said thoughtfully. "I guess it couldn't hurt. Will the girl be waking up soon?"

"Oh, no, she's not supposed to be up for awhile, not in her condition. She might be up in a few hours, though. Anyway, follow me, and don't attempt to touch the piranha plants." This warning was accompanied by a pointed look in Waluigi's direction.

"Oh why not?" But he followed the group inside, and kept his hands to himself--hard as that was for him, the poor piranha plant person. Heheh. Alliterations.


	4. Khan's Massage

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 4:**

Khan's Massage

* * *

They couldn't visit for long; while a little more docile than he had previously been, Khan was still one for snapping at people he wasn't familiar with. Test Subject No. 5-O-K had a red head, white lips, large fangs, and large green leaves. Oh, he was a beauty, as far as Waluigi was concerned. Khan was planted in the middle of a large indoor garden, with rows of other plants stretching from wall to wall. He was the biggest one there was, towering over the other plants, even in his adolescence.

"Oh you're a great big brute, aren'tcha?" Waluigi strode right up to Khan's plot in the soil, leaving the others a few feet away.

"Oh oh oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you!" May warned, slightly worried.

Waluigi didn't hear her; if he did, he showed not the slightest sign of moving anyway. Quite the opposite, in fact: Waluigi reached up one hand and held it before Khan.

"Bad Waluigi! Get away from there!" Peach scolded.

Wario just crossed his arms and waited for the inevitable, grinning.

Khan did not attack--immediately. He lowered his great head and considered the offered hand carefully, sniffing under and over and between the gloved fingers.

Luigi tapped his book against his thigh erratically. "Err.. Waluigi.."

"Yeah, you might wanna.. not do that." Mario said, linking his hands behind his head in his previous pose. Suddenly, Khan straightened and growled at Waluigi, who did not move an inch. The others--with the exception of Wario, still waiting--blanched and their worry grew.

"Please, sir, move away from Test Subject Five-Oh-Kay before something bad happens," begged May, her hands held together in a prayer sign.

"Oh, don't put your knickers in a twist, y'old hag." And then Waluigi did something completely reckless: he stretched out his arm and.. scratched the underside of the piranha plant's head.

May gasped.

"Oh my," said Peach.

"You great dolt." Luigi's tapping went faster.

"Luigi, stop that, you're going to wear a hole in the book," Mario joked. But he kept a close eye on the plant, just in case Waluigi _wasn't_ sure about what he was doing.

Wario grinned. That was it; the scratching. And then the rubbing, and then the purring next.

Khan lifted up his head and allowed Waluigi to roam free with his hand. Waluigi moved from one spot to another, depending on which way Khan tilted. Almost reluctantly, the subject lowered his head, which Waluigi took as an advantage and began vigorously rubbing the top.

Wario laughed out loud as the piranha plant went lower.. and lower.. and lower, and, finally, was reduced to purring under Waluigi's skilled fingers. May, Peach, Mario, Luigi, and Wario looked on as Waluigi, disregarding the dirt, kneeled down and started working on the plant's stem.

"Aww, so cute," Wario teased, uncrossing his arms.

"Shut it Bro." Waluigi was massaging Khan's spine/stem, letting the piranha plant relax. Gently, he unfurled one of the many leaves on the plant's stem, and pressed a slight pressure point softly.

Without warning, Subject 5-O-K shot up, opening its mouth in a silent snarl. Waluigi, caught by surprise, was hit by one strong leaf uncurling almost impossibly quickly near his arm. He skidded far back on his rump, back enough to bump into Mario's boots, and stared up at what was happening to Khan.

Leaves were furling and unfurling rapidly, Khan's jaws were snapping this way and that, and the soil around him was shifting around as though invisible winds were blowing. May gasped again and yelled, "Simon! Stewart! Jennifer! To Indoor Subject Garden A, _stat!_ Bring a notepad, one of you!"

Khan's head color changed from red to pink, he shrunk, then it reversed, again. From pink to pinkish-red to red, the leaves growing ever darker, him growing ever larger, and then suddenly he turned a sickly orange color, then back to red. A _bang!_ signified the arrival of the Toad interns May had called for, who hurried over and handed May the requested notepad. May hurriedly started scribbling down punctuated notes with a pen borrowed from Simon.

The changes grew longer, as though something were slowing down inside of Khan, until the plant was a dark, dark red with bright white spots and a healthy green body. Then it stopped and the soil was still.

"What.. in the hell.." Waluigi lifted himself up from off the floor, brushing off his buttocks as he did so. Mario stepped away from him.

In front of them was one of the biggest piranha plants Waluigi had ever seen--with the exception of his own Brutus. Luigi whistled in awe.

"May.. what was that?" Peach asked, still staring at the massive Khan.

May continued her fierce note-taking for a second, then flipped the notepad close and dismissed the confused interns. "I believe, Your Majesty, that Test Subject Five-Oh-Kay just had a total-recall."

"How?" asked Luigi, trying to tap his book again, only to find that Mario had discretely slipped the book from his little brother's fingers. He frowned at Mario but didn't do anything.

Waluigi nodded. "Yeah, what'd I do?"

"You saw the point in changing when Khan suddenly turned yellow, right?"

"Right," they all said in unison. Except for Wario. He didn't really care.

"Not too long ago Khan was sick from.. Waluigi, could you diagnose that?" May smiled at him, challenging him. He would take up that challenge!

"Orange head, pale, drooping leaves," he said, mostly to himself, ticking them off on his fingers. "Slouching posture.. seems like a mild bug infection. Probably nothing worse than Japanese beetles."

"Exactly," May replied, beaming.

The others were impressed. Except for Wario; he knew how smart his brother could be if it concerned his plants. _Score!_ Waluigi thought victoriously nonetheless.

"A few hundred tuber ants decided to take up residence inside Khan's main stem, sucking the nutrients from his veins, which caused him to turn yellow and pale. I can't treat plants like I can us, so one of our interns--Simon, actually--called the gardener for a quick treatment of the ants.

"The gardener administered a dose of what he called _Flush_ into one of Khan's main veins. He informed us that _Flush_ would not harm the plant, but the ants would be ingesting a chemical harmful to them, which would drive them into a frenzy to get out of Khan. Once he injected _Flush_, he massaged Khan's stem, much like you did, Waluigi, and pressed his thumbs into the leaves. I don't know what that did then, but apparently Khan greatly enjoyed it, and when _you_ did it--" May pointed, first at Waluigi, then at Khan. "--it brought back memories that Khan obviously considered valuable, making him grow to his original age again."

Luigi snatched his book from his brother and started tapping it against his leg again. Mario rolled his eyes, but Luigi ignored him. "Yeah, but why did he grow younger at first, then older?"

May shrugged. "I can only guess at this point. My theory now is that he remembered memories from when he was younger, and then grew older until he had all of his memories back. Of course, I could just be crazy and this is a dream I'm having inside an insane asylum."

"No, May, never!" Princess Peach said, swiping at a piranha plant that got too close. "Now.. I think a visit to the Alice-impersonator is in order."

"But Your Majesty, she's asleep."

"Let's just drop by, May, I need to give her her purse back." From a hidden pocket in one of the folds of her dress, Peach revealed the worn white purse. "It's all she has, please, May?"

"Oh, alright," grumbled the Toadette. "But if any one of you," she warned, turning her eyes on Waluigi, Wario, Mario, and Luigi, "wake her up.."

"They won't, May. Will they?" Peach glared at Mario. He gulped.

"No, we won't."

"Alright then, follow me, and _be quiet_."

The group followed the medic down the rows of piranha plants--Peach stepping daintily between clumps of soil--and out the green door into the medical centre.

The medical centre was a smaller version of the entrance hall. White marble, the entire thing, probably cleaned to a gleaming shine every day with disinfecting chemicals. Two rows of beds; to their right were five remaining beds on their side of the room, the door leading back to the main hall, then the opposite wall with doors located every five beds. In between some beds were cushy chairs, others some regular hospital chairs. There were about forty beds in all, not including the private rooms for sicker patients in the _ICU_ wing. Only about seven people were placed in these beds, most with minor injuries like twisted ankles or ear infections.

May led them down the carpeted aisle, toward the back, which had a desk (with a pretty receptionist seated behind a computer, who smiled at them as they passed), and a door in the wall behind the desk. To the left and right of the desk were doors; presumably, to either more patient rooms, or to supply closets.

"Heather, log in Doctor Stefans going to see patient zero-twelve."

"Zero-twelve at--nine-twenty-nine, yes ma'am," the lilac-colored Heather reported back, jotting it down on a clipboard in front of her. She turned back to the computer, her medium-length, light-purple hair swishing behind her as she did.

"Do you number all your patients?" Wario questioned as they passed under an archway labeled _ICU_. May started up the carpeted steps.

"Only as a formality, and even then, we only refer to them as numbers if we don't know their names. Such as now." After a few minutes of silent walking in circles, she added, "It happens more than you think; homeless creatures who refuse to tell us their names, usually. Sometimes, if they stay for a long time, or they come back repeatedly, we give them nicknames." May took a key from her pocket as they rounded the last turn and unlocked the door before them which had the letters _ICU_ plated on it.

Waluigi wondered about the nicknames for a second before Wario interrupted with, "What does _ICU_ stand for?"

"Intensive Care Unit," Mario replied before May could. "_I_ should know; goodness knows how many times I've been in one of these rooms of before."

As Mario finished, May opened the door and presented the group with the sight of a hall filled with seven windowed rooms, all of them numbered above the doorway. To their left and right were doors--some ajar, some closed--windows looking into the rooms, and chairs under the windows. The rooms were marble, like every other room Waluigi had been in so far, but it smelled strongly of disinfectant and sickness. Peach inconspicuously covered her nose with one small hand.

They passed empty rooms with beds, equipment, and chairs inside, then turned right at a corner and saw yet more rooms to their left, but regular closet doors on the right (and a bathroom or two). At the end of the hall were three doors marked _Male Employees Only,_ _Female Employees Only,_ and _Employee Lounge_. The door was shut, but they could hear the sounds of television and chatter from inside.

There were seven more patient rooms in this hall, from _8_ to _14_; May took out another key from another pocket and fit it into number _12_'s doorknob.

Ahh, there she was. Waluigi felt much better, looking at her. She looked alright; she was no longer deathly pale, her hair was bright and shiny, as though she had taken a shower recently, and her eyes were closed in a light slumber--

Wario nudged him with an elbow, indicating he was supposed to move. Waluigi flushed and muttered something, moving out of the way like Wario wanted him to, to let the others pass by.

"Don't close the door," May said to Waluigi, heading straight for the monitors near the girl.

Waluigi didn't, but only walked toward the foot of the bed, sticking his hands in his pockets. Mario, Luigi, and Peach congregated near May, while Wario just lounged near the doorway.

"Okay, Your Majesty, just put it in the end table so we can get out of here. I don't want to wake her up, because she really needs her sleep."

"Yes, May." Peach was in the process of opening the end table's drawer when the girl's eyes flew open.


	5. Alice in Wonderland

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 5:**

Alice in Wonderland

* * *

_Holy shite!_ Waluigi jerked backward, almost colliding with Wario, who had walked forward.

Mario lunged forward to protect Peach from any harm; the girl (who was smiling and reaching for Peach) instead locked her hands on his wrists.

A whistling sound--then music started up from somewhere, from nowhere, and the girl was smiling and looking into his eyes.

_Ooh oh yeaaah!_

_Alriiiight!_

_Well I don't show off, don't criticize._

_I'm just living by my ooown feelin's._

_And I won't give in, won't cooompromiiise._

_'Cuz, I only have a steadfast heart of gold!_

_I don't know why, I can't leave, though, it might be tough._

_But I ain't out of control just livin' by my word._

_Don't ask me why, I don't need a reason._

_I got my way, my own waaaaaaay--!_

_It doesn't matter, now what happens._

_I will never, give up the fight!_

_Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,_

_It doesn't matter whoooo is wrong and who is riiiight._

_Well I don't look back I don't, need tooo._

_Time, won't waaait, and I've got so much to do!_

_Where do I stop now it's all a blur, it's so unclear!_

_Well I don't know but I can't be wroooong!_

_It doesn't matter, now what happens._

_I will never, give up the fight!_

_Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,_

_It doesn't matter whoo is wrong and who is riiiight!_

_Ooh it doesn't matter! Now, what happens!_

_I will never! Give up the fight!_

_Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,_

_It doesn't matter whoooo is wrong and who is riiiight!_

_Noooo! Nooo no no! It doesn't mattaaaar!_

It stopped. And she let go of his wrists. And sat back on her pillow. And smiled.

Mario broke the dead silence first. "That was awesome! What was that!?"

She smiled up at him, shyly, and spoke. "It was your song." Her voice was light, and slightly raspy, as though she had a cold.

May, busy taking notes yet again, mumbled something under her breath that sounded like _Amazing, amazing. Simply amazing._

"Oh, cool! Hey Luigi!"

"What?"

"I have a theme song!" Mario pointed at himself with his thumb proudly.

"Of course you do, now can someone please tell me how this is happening?"

May shut her notebook with a sharp _snap!_ing noise that made everyone except Wario and the girl jump. Everyone looked at her expectantly.

"No idea," she informed crossly, and tapped her foot. "But I specifically asked that she be _not_ woken up."

"Err.."

"Oh it's okay," the girl said in her breathy voice. "I was kinda awake already. The stitches itch." She giggled. "I kinda rhymed."

Wario, back in his place near the door, chuckled at that. She looked at him and waved. "Hi."

He blinked. "Uh. Hi."

May tried to get her to sleep, but failed. Soon, she gave up, sighed, and asked, "What's your name?"

"Uhhmm.."

Silence for a few minutes. Then: "Dunno."

May nodded as though she had expected that. "Well, we can't call you patient zero-twelve.. I think we'll give you a name. Would you like that?"

The girl pointed at Waluigi. "I want _him_ to do it!"

"What?" Waluigi was flabbergasted. "Why me?"

"Because you're wearing _black_."

"And what does that have to do with anything?"

The girl thought for a minute. Then she shrugged, saying, "I dunno, it just seems important to me."

May scribbled that tidbit of info down into her notebook and said, "Very well, Waluigi gets to decide."

"Aww.." said Mario, a little disappointed. Luigi hit him lightly with his book. "You're in the limelight enough, let someone else have a turn." Mario just stuck his tongue out at him.

Waluigi thought about it and nibbled on the thumbnail of his glove, a habit Wario detested. He slapped his brother's hand away from his mouth and said, "Just name her already!"

"_Jebus_, alright, fine. Alice."

The girl seemed thoughtful.

"_Alice?!_" Mario laughed. "No way, that sounds like an old lady name."

"I think Waluigi struck on a good name for her," defended Peach. "She looks almost _exactly_ like Alice from _Alice in Wonderland_!"

Waluigi nodded--that had been his exact train of thought.

Wario said casually, "You know, on the back of her photo, it _does_ say 'Alice costume.' Maybe, just maybe, before she was sent here, she was playing dress-up as Alice? Then that would be a fitting name."

Mario shrugged. "If you want to, then okay."

"Don't I get a say in this?" the five-year-old whispered, smiling. She never seemed to stop smiling. "I like it. I don't know what _Alice in Wonderland_ is, but if that guy," she pointed at Waluigi, "likes this Alice person so much, then okay. He's wearing _black_."

"Ergh!" Waluigi nearly tore his hair out in exasperation. What did his overalls have to do with _anything!?_

"Okay. Alice it is." May wrote it down in her notebook as a reminder. "Now, go to sleep, okay?"

"But--but!.." The girl smiled. "I haven't gotten _her_ yet!" The patient reached over and grasped Peach's hand in her own.

_Sakura Drops_

Mario smiled at Peach. "That was a pretty song, Peach."

The princess blushed and took her hand back from Alice. "Thank you."

Waluigi backed away from the bed until he was next to his brother. He did not want to find out what _his_ song was, no, no thank you.

The younger Mario brother grinned. "Can you do me next?"

"No!" May looked appalled. "She cannot, she has to sleep!"

"But miss, I'm not sleepy. My stitches itch, is all. I need to--" The girl reddened and looked down at her hands. May leaned forward so she could whisper in her ear. She nodded, and said, "Fine. It's--" she glanced at her watch. "--almost ten. Your Majesty?"

"Yes, May?"

"Would you escort Alice to the ladies room and then help her dress?--"

"I can do it myself!"

"--Then she can go wherever you go, but nowhere else. Would that be alright?"

"Of course, May. When should I bring her back here?"

"At eleven-thirty. You," she told the girl, "are going to bed right after lunch. Okay?"

"Yes boss-ma'am." The girl smiled up at her before throwing off the covers and hopping down to the floor. She was short--very much so. Hardly taller than May, who was about 4'5", and thin as a stick. The hospital gown that was given to her was a shimmering white, but she was barefoot, so she hopped from foot to foot. The others looked at her strangely. She smiled at them and whispered, "It's cold."

"Here are her clothes, Your Majesty." May handed Peach a white bag filled with the clothes Waluigi had found the girl in. "Now, go on before I change my mind."

* * *

At 10:07 a.m., a fully-conscious, fully-dressed, and fully-happy girl slid down the banisters of the large Starcase.

"Alice! Please don't do that!" Peach hitched up her dress and ran down the stairs as quickly as she could, careful not to trip. Alice waited for her until she was at the bottom of the stairs, then asked, "Why not?"

"Those rails have valuable gems and stones in them, we don't want to ruin them. Plus, you could slip and fall and hurt yourself even more!"

Behind Peach, behind Mario, behind Luigi, in front of Waluigi, Wario cracked his knuckles and gazed down at the railing as he stepped down the staircase. _How much would those sell for? _he wondered deviously. _Factor in that they're the princess', and they'd be worth a fortune._

Alice considered the information and warning Peach just gave her.

"Well.. okay, Miss Peach, if you say so."

"I say so," Peach stated firmly, turning left to walk behind the staircase.

Alice allowed Peach to walk in front of her so that she was level with Mario. Mario glanced down and smiled at the five-year-old, who dropped back further until she was next to Luigi.

The bookworm had his nose in--you guessed it--his book. It was a small, grey book, with red spots on the cover. Alice wondered how the green man could walk and read at the same time.

"Whatcha readin'?" The group passed through a door behind the staircase, and emerged into a complex series of hallways. Peach lead them down one.

"Hm? Oh, I'm reading _Across the Nightingale Floor_. Why? You interested in it?"

"Uhm, no, not really." Not paying attention to the floor, Alice tripped down a short stairway (say, three steps?) and grabbed Luigi's pants automatically. As soon as she righted herself, strange music started playing, sounding oddly off-tune. The others paused.

_When all alone in my chair, I just go back wishiiiing._

_Wanna be strong, really wanna be trusted, ohh-aah._

_When all alone in my bed, I just go back yeaaarniiing._

_Wanna be cool, I also, wanna be like hiiii-iiiim._

_But that's not something, I can do soo easilyyy._

_This is not simply myyyy waaay, my ooown styyyle._

_Gotta get ahold of my life!_

_I wanna flyyy hiiiiiiigh!_

_So I can reach the highest of all the heavens!_

_Somebody will beeeee,_

_Waiting for me, so, I've got to fly hiiiighaaaa!_

Mario clapped Luigi on the back. "Never knew you felt like that, Luigi."

Luigi just shrugged and smiled. "It was nice and upbeat, just like how I feel. That's good enough for me." He stuck his nose back in his book and continued reading while Peach started walking again.

"Sorry," whispered Alice, letting go of his pants.

"S'okay, Alice, you didn't mean to. Besides, it was a good song."

That cheered her up a bit. She glanced back at the two Wario brothers, still lagging behind. Wario seemed to know what she was thinking and put his hands up. "Oh no, no no no, we don't want to hear ours."

"But why not?" she whispered.

"Because. Now look ahead before you trip again."

Alice complied, feeling slightly put off, but forgot all about it when Peach said, "Ah, here we are!" and threw open a door. The princess stepped out onto one of the many pebbled walkways that were in the garden courtyard, smiling as the sun shone down on her yellow hair. She strode forward, disappearing into a wall of pink roses.

"Peach!" Mario called. "Where'd you go?" He ran where he had seen her go, leaving behind Luigi, Alice, Wario, and Waluigi, in that order.

Luigi looked around. The garden had a look about it that said "carefully-controlled chaos." Flowers of all shapes, sizes, colors, and varieties resided in the garden. He smiled, knowing the place very well, since he visited it every time he and Mario visited the palace.

"Ahh, the garden. Such a beautiful place." And with that, Luigi walked off into a secluded corner of the garden, reading.

Wario sneered. _Please_. Flowers? Such a dull and boring concept. He preferred something a bit more exciting.. Something which he found in the form of a tall shrubbery. He lumbered forward to read the small sign at what seemed to be an entrance.

_Shrubbery Maze_

Delighted, Wario wasted no time in diving head-first into the challenge.

Alice turned to Waluigi and smiled. _Doesn't she ever stop smiling?_ he wondered, figuring he was too much of a bad-guy for there to be too many smiles around him.

"It's just you and me now, mister."

"No, it's just you and you." Waluigi walked off, heading back into the castle and out of the blinding glare of the sun.

"Hey! Don't leave me here alone!" Alice ran after him, almost tripping on the steps leading up to the door.

"You're not alone, there's that guy over there to keep you company." Waluigi gestured vaguely out the door.

Alice looked back and saw Luigi. "What, you mean the green man?" She turned around in time to see Waluigi slipping around a corner.

"Hey! No fair, you tricked me!" she called, running forward with her arms outstretched, fully intending to tackle the black man.

Waluigi found himself in a long, dark corridor with doors on either side of him. "Hmm.. which one which one?" He heard the clopping of Alice's shoes nearing him, and paused. "No time to decide, run!"

He tried one door, but it was locked. Then he tried another; locked again. Frustrated with all the locked doors--"Why in the hell do they have these rooms if no one can _use_ them!?"--Waluigi resorted to running down the corridor to the end, where he could see a flight of stairs winding up a small tower.

"Get back here, meany!" Her voice was barely above normal indoor levels, because of whatever made her whisper all the time, but Waluigi could hear her perfectly. Probably the acoustic principles of marble. She lunged toward him but missed as she slipped on the slick floor and landed heavily on her knees and hands.

"Oww.." she moaned softly, one hand going to her abdomen.

Waluigi halted, almost to the doorway where the stairs were. Freedom? Annoying girl? Freedom? Annoying girl? If only he didn't have a _conscience_, that choice would be so much easier! _Damn you, Jimminy Cricket,_ he thought randomly, and reluctantly walked over to Alice.

He sighed and held out a hand to help her up with. "Hurry up so I can get you back to the doctor's and you can leave me alone."

"Oh, hey, there you guys are!" Mario was walking down the hall with Peach, Luigi, and Wario.

Alice grinned up at him while he was distracted with the newcomers. "Gotcha!" She grabbed at his hat, quick as lightning, but froze as soon as she touched it.

_Loneliness_

The song only got about seven seconds in before Waluigi jerked away, frowning. He snatched his hat back from the thoughtful girl, put it back in its original place, and retreated to the doorway with the stairs. Without a word, he left.

Alice sat down for a second on the color marble floor, fist tucked under her chin. Mario, Peach, Luigi, and Wario were just seconds away from catching up to her when she exclaimed, "Wait a second!" and darted up the stairs after Waluigi.

"Oh no!" Peach quickly went after, then Mario, then Luigi. Wario followed only because he didn't want to be left behind.

At the very top of the stairs, Waluigi could see out of crystal-clear window panes at the expanse of land and rolling hills that the Toadstools had owned ever since the day Knot Toadstool was declared king of the land. He didn't care much about the view, though; getting away from the evil girl who could read his heart was his number one priority, so he sprinted away from the tower and down a hall made mostly out of glass.

"Mister! Mister! Come back here, I need to see your hair!"

Weird request aside, Waluigi was _not_ about to let her touch him again. He glanced to his left and saw, down below, the garden in the large courtyard, and wished he was down there, what with its many hiding spots. He glanced to his right and, to his relief, saw that the glass had been replaced by marble. Marble which had small niches in it for what Waluigi assumed were statues or couches.

"Miiiisteeerr! Please?! I didn't mean to mess up your hair none!" With all of her five-year-old logic, Alice thought that _that_ was the problem. _Silly girl_, Waluigi chided in his head, practically throwing himself into one of the niches, and just in time, too. Down the hall, Alice was just emerging from the tower-stairs, panting.

"Mister! My stitches hurt! Just let me see your hair, it's important!"

Waluigi didn't move a muscle. Not a single effing muscle. But his nose was itching. _Why why why why why?_ He struggled not to succumb to the urge to scratch, but it was too powerful for him. Even as he reached up to scratch the tip, Waluigi was thinking, _Why why why now?_ Barely, just _barely_, he scratched it, then jerked as footsteps came his way, making him bang his head on the wall. _Ow_.

"Ow," he repeated out loud, rubbing the sore spot.

"I heard that mister! I may have a bad voice but my hearing is excellent!"

Waluigi hung his head. He was tired of running anyway, and stepped out from the niche to let himself be seen.

Alice beamed at him. "There you are!" she whispered, running toward him. Behind her, Peach stepped out into view, looking thoroughly ruffled and winded. "Alice!"

The girl ignored her and continued on to Waluigi, who glared at her with hooded eyes.

"Whaddya want?"

"I thought I told you--to see your hair."

"Why?"

"My mind is itchy."

"It _what?_"

"It's itchy! It starts to.. _tingle_ whenever I see your hair. Can I see it now?"

"No," he refused, crossing his arms and looking out the glass to the garden.

"Waluigi Wario! You will show her your hair or you are outta here, mister!" Peach scolded, shaking her finger at him as she walked over. Mario, Luigi, and Wario followed, all of them grinning.

Waluigi grumbled under his breath, "_Fuck,_" but he took of his hat and showed Alice his messy brown hair. She scrutinized it, looking it over as well as a short five-year-old girl could look over a tall, twenty-two-year-old's hair. As Peach and the others finally caught up she demanded, "Let me touch it."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because that's just weird!"

"Waluigi!" threatened Peach, hands on hips.

"Fine, woman, don't pop a blood vessel! _Jebus_." He knelt down to Alice's level, looking down at the flecked marble that everything around there seemed to be made of. He winced when her fingers dug into the light brown mess, but, thankfully, nothing happened.

"Ah!" yelled Alice, jerking backwards, away from Waluigi. Her bright blue eyes were staring into his when suddenly she jerked again. Mario inched forward, just in case.

"Ah!"

_Fwoop_. Her hair shot down about an inch. Seams in the dress shoulders snapped, the collar grew snug around her neck, and the tie that wrapped her apron around her tightened almost unbearably. Her arms, legs and torso lengthened by only a few centimeters, but it was enough to make the dress look like it was more fit for a doll than her. Pressed against the tight dress as it was, her chest cavity dipped, making her non-existent breasts look bigger.. Her fingernails, previously neat and trimmed, shrank and grew, shrank and grew, then finally just stayed in one place. Then she stilled.

".. Ow," she muttered, rubbing her shoulder where the dress dug uncomfortably into the skin. She turned to the Peach, Mario, Luigi, and Wario. Luigi grinned at her.

"I think you just remembered something."

"Huh.." Alice turned on the spot, and caught sight of Waluigi. Her face brightened from 'dazed and confused' to 'OMG I just won the lottery!'

"JOJO!" The now-eight-year-old-girl tackled Waluigi to the ground and straddled him, pinching his cheeks. "You sly sly fox, running from me like that. You thought I wouldn't figure it was you, huh?"

"Gerroff!"

"No way Jo, I got you back and I'm not letting you go now."

"Alice, sweetie." Peach pried Alice off of the red-faced Waluigi, setting the girl down beside her. She didn't let go of her wrist, though. "Who's Jojo?"

"Him, duh," Alice replied rather rudely, pointing at Waluigi with her captive hand.

"No, Alice, you know that's Waluigi."

"No, it's_ Jojo_. I can_ tell_."

"How?"

"His hair. His hair is Jojo's, no one else I know has that hair."

"Who else do you know?"

".. No one. But I know it's him!"

Luigi snapped his fingers, bringing the attention on him. "Alice, Waluigi is wearing _black_. Does Jojo wear _black?_"

Alice was stumped at this question, looking up at the ceiling as she tried to remember. "Uhh.. " Her face fell. "No," she whispered.

"So I'm not this 'Jojo' person." Waluigi got up carefully, then crossed his arms and generally sulked.

"Alice." The princess led Alice by the hand back down the hall. "Who's Jojo?"

"Oh!" Her face lit back up. "He's.. " she trailed off, unsure of what he was, exactly. "He's.. He's Waleegi, only, sweeter."

"Waluigi," muttered said un-sweet bad guy.

"Yes, lots of people are--"

"I resent that!"

"--but what is he to _you?_" They went through a door pas t the tower, into a darker hall.

"He's.. " She blinked. If only this wasn't so darned _hard_. "He told me he was my everything."

* * *

_He stared at her sweetly, petting the side of her face. His mussed light brown hair shown gold in spots where light filtered through the tree leaves above, and his dark brown eyes showed nothing but love for her. Though she was only eight, she could feel the beginnings of attraction brought on by just being with him._

_"Josh.. when are you coming back?"_

_"I don't know.. When my parents aren't hated by yours, I guess."_

_"Come back to me, 'kay?"_

_"I'm your everything--you couldn't live without me. Of course I will."_ _The nine-year-old smiled._

* * *

"Ooh, sounds like someone has a boyfriend," Mario teased lightly, patting her on the head.

"A very _egotistical_ boyfriend," added Peach.

A few seconds later, Peach brought them out into the main hall--only, they weren't on the first, second, or third floor. Far, far below them was the entrance floor: the first floor. Above that were the two second-story balconies, the story that Waluigi and Wario's rooms were on, and above _that_ was a balcony that extended all the way around the perimeter of the room, marking the third story. The floor they were on now was the uppermost floor in the hall, not counting the tower.

Mario whistled. "Never been up here before. Why is that?"

"Because you're too busy being in the _ICU_ to be here." Peach grinned.

"Noted. Now how do we get down?"

They were on the left side of the hall, facing the wall with the main doors; in front of them was a walkway like the second-story balconies, the kind that went halfway across a wall then ended itself with a rail. To their right was the rail itself. If Mario had had a mind to, he could have leaned to his right, looked down, and just barely seen the Starcase's last few steps.. which he did. Luigi didn't bother with moving the book from his face, content with seeing text and _not_ the long, long drop to the hard marble floor, plus what you could hit on the way down like the railing of other balconies, or maybe even the columns supporting them. He shivered just thinking about it.

"Heheh, cool." Waluigi placed his hands on the banister and leaned over the edge, looking at all the gleaming walls and floors. Toads, awake with the hustle and bustle of whatever the hell they had to do in a castle--clean, cook, live?--were scurrying to and fro like polka-dotted rolie-polies, slamming various doors on their way in and out and carrying things. Waluigi noticed, as Peach walked over to a grey metal door, that there were three or four hot spots on the main floor: the medical centre (with a white door), a pink granite door, a blue granite door, and whatever the Starcase held on its landing. Waluigi thought that it was a door as well. _So many doors, so little Toads. Hah! Pun. I amaze me sometimes._

"Come on, Wally! You're keeping us up."

Waluigi turned and saw that Peach, Alice, Mario, Luigi, and Wario were squished together in a small chamber inside one of the doors on the walkway. Wario had made sure that all of the other occupants of the chamber were inbetween him and the blonde girl by pressing himself into a corner.

"When will you stop _calling_ me that!?"

"When you change your name."

"Bah!" Waluigi started for the small room. Mario and Luigi scooted aside as best as they could to give him room between them. In the back were Peach and Alice.

Luigi pouted when he saw that his pages were getting bent by his counterpart's elbow. "Hey Peach--"

"Please push the white button in the front there, Luigi," Peach interrupted as the doors closed and they were trapped inside.

"Uhh.." Luigi pressed what he _thought_ was the right button. "Anyway, why is this thing so small? What is it?" The room shuddered for a moment, then he had the curious sensation of falling slowly. He did _not_ like it.

"Oh, sorry about that." Peach let out an embarrassed giggle. "There are rooms like this everywhere in the palace. We installed them with the help of a traveling Magikoopa--he transformed most of the staircase towers into small rooms that could transport you up or down, depending on which button you pushed: white for the main floor, light blue for the second, green for the third, and pink for the fourth--my room's on the fourth. They're so small, because the main inhabitants of this castle are _Toads_, and you know how small they are. They could fit, maybe, eight of them at one time into this one. But the more used a tower was, the bigger the Magikoopa made it, so more people or Toads could fit into it at one time. It was a genius idea, really."

They made it down without incident--although Luigi_ did_ turn a little green--and stepped out onto the gleaming floors of the main hall's first story.

"Alright Alice, it's almost eleven--"

"How do you know that?" the girl asked.

Peach merely gestured to a huge clock face above the doors on the Starcase. _How in the hell did I manage to miss that?_ Wario wondered. Waluigi was wondering the same thing.

"Oh."

"Anyway, it's almost eleven, so we've got to get you to your room soon. You've half an hour to do anything with me, so I suggest you tell me what you want to do and ask me nicely if we can do it." Strict but not harsh.

"Can I get some new clothes? These ones are _tight_." Alice pulled on the collar around her neck, exposing a dark pink band of flesh ringing it.

"Oh my. I guess we'll have to ask Buli. Come on. You guys, go somewhere, and _behave_."

"Yes, Peach," Mario called after her as she walked away with Alice.


	6. Your 'Services'

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 6:**

Your 'Services'

* * *

Noon found Wario conversing heatedly with Princess Peach in the main hall, the two sitting on a couch in one of the niches. Beyond them, Toads rushed around, going about their daily tasks. More than a few of them glanced at Wario suspiciously.

"--possible ally--"

"--give up the life of--"

"--abducted! Eldstar, can't--"

"--compensation for--"

The hustle and bustle of the Toads somewhat drowned out the conversation. Closer, though, hearing improved, and it could be discerned that both Wario and Peach were speaking rapidly, trying to overwhelm the other's argument by gaining in volume. Finally, though, Peach shouted, "Alright, alright!"

For a second, Wario thought he won the discussion.

"I can't stop you from what you want to do. Not yet."

Wario smirked.

"But I'll have you know I _can_ refuse your offer," she said, and held her head up high. "Now. Outline clearly, calmly, and _reasonably_, what you want."

The yellow-and-purple-clad man crossed his arms and snorted, but otherwise showed no rebellion. "Amnesty is number one on the list, and I'm not gunning that one down. The others are simple things, like perhaps a spare pardon or two as rain-checks for future.. ahh.. 'misdemeanors' and the like."

"You know I can't do that."

"Eh, well.. we'll see."

"I'm not going to--"

"Then there are the simplest of all, such as default room and board for staying nights, and maybe even a cut of gravy?"

Peach rolled her eyes. She _knew_ he would be like this, but c'mon! The _least_ he could do was shove down the greed in that pudgy body of his. "Consider the amnesty, room and board, and a 'cut of _the _gravy' granted. That is, _if_ you accept _my_ part of the deal."

"State your demands," Wario growled, but was nonetheless happy that the two Wario Brothers would get _amnesty_. How often did _that_ happen?

Peach clapped her hands together. "Alright. We want you, _and_ your brother, to stop your acts of petty violence and robbery." Here she paused and lifted an eyebrow at the normally vain Wario. He didn't respond to her rise, so she continued, "while at the same time aiding us in finding out and stopping the forces behind the missing denizens. If--_when_--that part of the deal is complete, you must keep refraining from undertaking in your 'misdemeanors', as you called them, and settle down. Or maybe.."

".. Yeah?" Wario, in spite of himself, sat up a little straighter. The smile playing about Peach's lips was strange.

"Or maybe Princess Toadstool will see a need for the Wario Brothers' services someday." She shrugged, but the smile stayed in place. "Maybe something else."

Wario didn't even have to think about what she was offering him, and let out a short, barking laugh, leaning back. "Y'know, I never knew you had it in ya, Peach." A few seconds went by as he considered the deal, stroking his moustache. Finally he nodded and sat up again. "That don't sound like a kipe to me, so, yeah. I s'pose.. ah, I'm sure Waluigi wouldn't mind either." The statement was followed by a cheeky grin.

Princess Peach inclined her head in acknowledgment, and stood up. Wario followed suit.

"I'm glad we're seeing a bit more eye-to-eye, Wario."

Wario again smirked. "Yes, Princess, it would seem we have an agreement." Wario held out his gloved hand, Peach did likewise, and they shook on it. The princess straightened her dress out and sighed, patting the pink folds gracefully. "I feel kind of.. dirty." Together they started walking up the rug to the staircase, mindful of skirting around the Toads. The man beside her chuckled.

"Don't be. As of now, my brother and I are fairly innocent people, and we won't practice our ways for a while. Not until you need us."

'Fairly innocent.' Peach smiled at how the words sounded coming from Wario's mouth.

"So what exactly is it you want us doing?" In front of them the Starcase loomed, and they stepped up onto the first tread.

Princess Peach could have sworn she was going to tell him what she had planned for the Wario Brothers. "Have you killed anyone?"

No, that was definitely _not_ the details of the rough procedure she had spent last night working on on her maple-wood desk. The two paused, midway up the Starcase. Wario wasn't looking at her, but frowning down at his shoes, his hands stuffed in his overall pockets. Peach slid a hand over the railing to her left delicately, slightly regretting asking.

"Mmm.." Wario tended to make sounds when he thought, and this time it was a doozy of a thought.. Absently, he glanced up at the huge clock face built above the sanguine oak doors. It was bright white marble, contrasting with the white-and-black-flecked marble that everything else seemed to be made of. Interestingly the numbers weren't black marble; instead, they were cut out of _colored_ diamonds. _Holy Italian hand_.. Wario'd be _damned_ if they weren't.

He scoffed, then shrugged and went back to stepping up the 'case. Peach flinched a little, but mimicked Wario. The robber and the princess continued in this fashion until they reached the landing. There, Wario stepped forward to grasp the abnormally large handle of the Starcase doors, and suddenly responded, "A couple of times. Mostly they were accidents." Wario heaved on the door a bit, and it opened enough for a person to slip inside. Peach walked to the opening.

"Mostly?"

"Oh alright all of 'm."

Peach gratefully stepped inside the large doors, talking over her shoulder. "Glad the famous Wario isn't such a bad person as they say."

"Famous? And _who_ says?"

"Oh, no one."


	7. The Single Star

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Waluigi, Wario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., nor anyone else that belongs to Nintendo or other trademarks. I do not own the Alice in _Alice in Wonderland_. I do not own any of the songs that will feature in this fanfiction. I _do_, however, own Alice the OC, May, Piper, and various other characters that I shall make up along the way. I am not profiting from this fanfiction, nor will I ever.

-

Toad: the Mushroom Kingdom's main inhabitants. Usually blue, with white-and-red caps, but can come in other colors.

Toadette: grown female Toad, usually light colors.

Toadlet: child Toad, either gender, but usually reserved for females.

-

**Title:** Knot's Kingdom: Alice in Wonderland

**Summary:** The Mushroom Kingdom's creatures and Bowser's troops are going missing near the Forest of Illusion. In that same forest, the Wario Bro's discover the body of a girl and are unwittingly caught up in a deadly game of subterfuge and backstabbing. WalOC, etc.

**Rating:** T for violence, gore, explicit language.

**Warnings:** Major or minor same-sex pairings.

**Chapter 7:**

The Single Star

* * *

As Peach and Wario were discussing being possible allies, Luigi and Mario decided to head into one of Mario's favorite places--the royal kitchen.

"Ah! Meester Mario, plez, do not touch ze frosting! Eet eez fer zeh Princas!"

Mario, in the process of swiping a bit of frosting from off a small, delicate cake, smiled. "Just this once, Jean-Louis? I'm sure Peach won't mind."

"Eh! No! Zeh cake, eet will be ru-eened! Shoo, shoo, can't you zee Ah em bizee?" A harassed-looking yellow Toad with a small black moustache waved around a frosting-covered rubber spatula crazily, warning the two Mario brothers away from the Princess' cake. Once satisfied the brothers had backed off far enough, Jean-Louis straightened and pointed the spatula at a large, ornate cupboard.

"Zehr," Jean-Louis said with a flick of the spatula. "Go find sometheeng to eat in zehr."

Mario grinned at his brother, who was busy wiping frosting off of his book with a finger carefully, then looked back at Jean-Louis. "Thanks Jean, you're awesome."

"_Bien sûr!_ Ah know zees, do you zenk Ah do not?" With his back to Mario, Jean-Louis patiently resculpted the frosting onto the cake with long, gentle strokes of the spatula.

Dodging bustling kitchen Toads, Mario expertly raided the cupboard for a few snacks, ones easy to hold and unlikely to melt in his hands. A couple of crackers, some of those crunchy chocolate-straw-type things.. and, to his surprise, he found a mini-fridge. Inside he saw delectable fruits, and picked out a few strawberries and cherries, mostly to give to Peach. Looking around for a few more items to hold onto, as he had never been in _this_ cupboard before, Mario reached in and grabbed two small bottles of mango-orange juice, one of them also for Peach.

"Luigi? Do you want anything?"

Luigi didn't answer, intent on his book.

"Luigi!"

"What, yes, what?"

"I said, do you want anything?"

Leaning up against a wall, Luigi took a moment to finish up the sentence he was reading, then addressed his older brother, "Any pomegranates?"

"Uhm.." Mario peered inside, and saw the bright red of a ripe pomegranate. "Yup." He took that as well, placing it on the counter next to the cupboard. He looked around a bit, confused as to where the thing he was looking for was.

"Zeh leetle baskets are een zeh bottom cabeenet to yohr right, Meester Mario," Jean-Louis instructed, not bothering to turn from his creation.

"Oh, uhm.. _merci?_" Mario gave a laugh. "I wish I could be fluent in French."

Jean-Louis gave a laugh as well, a rare one. He seemed to be in better spirits. "Ahh, _oui_, well. _Ah_ zenk you are quite fine speaking Eenglesh."

Luigi chuckled as well as Mario found the baskets Jean-Louis had told him about and packed away the items (grabbing a few more foods from the cupboard). "I don't imagine _Mario_ speaking French, either. He's too much of a tough-guy for the language of love. I agree, he should stick with English."

"Hey, I'm right here, y'know." Mario punched his brother's shoulder playfully, his other hand occupied by two small wicker baskets.

Luigi gave a careless shrug, grinning. "Yeah, but that's what makes it fun."

"Fun, hah!" Jean-Louis puttered around the cake, getting every detail flawless on his Princess' dessert. "Speaking of zat, why don't you boiz go play in zeh garden, eh? Ah heard zeh Princess eez zehr ahgayn."

The older Mario brother brightened visibly. "What're we waiting for, let's go Luigi!"

The man in green sighed, shaking his head at his brother's love-sick energy. "Yes, _fine_, let's go," Luigi started, glancing down at his watch. Mario took the opportunity to speed out of the main kitchen door, leaving his little brother behind. Luigi glanced up, exasperated, and yelled after him, "..but we have to leave at seven!"

Jean-Louis chuckled again. "Zat Mario, he eez very, ah, _energetic_, _oui?_"

"He's in love," was Luigi's simple answer. The yellow Toad nodded knowingly.

"_Salut_, Jean-Louis." Waving goodbye to the chef, Luigi headed out of the yellow-trimmed double doors that led from the kitchens into the entrance hall. He once again opened _Across the Nightingale Floor_, and, having visited the castle often, easily navigated around throngs of Toads through the door leading into the Knot Corridors (or Hallways, as the Toads called them when they were in a hurry), and was met with a series of hallways branching off from in front of him. Without even looking up, Luigi walked into the hallway straight ahead, passing a silver sign mounted on the wall that said

Jasmine Hall

--

Flora of Jasmine  
(Sun Garden)

with an exquisitely detailed arrow pointing down the way Luigi was going.

The carpeted halls were silent, save the scuffing of Luigi's shoes and the occasional scratching of pages being turned. Nearing the end of the hallway, Luigi was about to open the door that led to the garden when there was a shout behind him.

"Luigi! Oh thank the stars, I've been looking all over for you!" A red-and-white colored Toad skidded to a stop just behind Luigi, panting for breath. He propped his arms up on his knees, giving himself time to breathe.

"Toad?" Luigi let go of the brass handle and turned to look at Peach's long-time attendant, slipping his book into his pocket. "Is something wrong?"

Toad nodded quickly, still trying to catch his breath. "Yes," he breathed out, straightening up. "Something _is_ wrong--Lue Lakitu disappeared!"

Luigi's eyes widened. "No, wait, you're kidding right? Where?"

"No, I'm not kidding! He was last seen exiting The Single Star by a Koopette who was working there. His brother and wife are worried _sick!_"

This was bad. Very much so. Lue was the Lakitu Bro. who had filmed Mario's entire adventure saving Peach from her own castle when Bowser took over. Mario and Lue (and Lindo, his brother) developed a great friendship, and they had the two Lakitu Bros. and their partners over for dinner on occasion.

Luigi sighed. "Lacy's in hysterics, isn't she?"

"She's throwing a fit in the medical center, yes, and is angering May." Toad gave a small laugh. "Lindo is fairly calm, but he wants to go find him, even if it means going without one of the Mario brothers, and, frankly? That's dangerous. Toadsworth sent me down here to fetch Mario, but I found you instead. Where's your brother?"

Luigi's eyes twitched, barely. He gestured toward the door, and, almost as if on cue, Peach's laughter fluttered through the light wooden door.

Toad looked thoughtful for a minute, then shook his head. "Luigi, come with me, we have to find Lue." He pivoted on his heel, treading quickly back down the hallway.

"What about Mario? Shouldn't we tell him?"

"No, not yet. We have to be sure Lue's actually in danger rather than just lost."

Both of them knew it was going to be the former.

"Alright," Luigi agreed anyway after a minute's thought, jogging after the Toad and catching up quickly with his longer legs. They walked quickly through the hall, went through the door, past the Starcase, down the entrance hall, and into the infirmary.


End file.
